Reverend Hiram Chipdale, lead pastor of the First Church of Technology in L.A., was well known for his many experiments in integrating Christian theology and worship with virtual reality.
Most famously, he had pioneered the theme park Heaven on Earth which offered firsthand experiences of actually dying, entering through the pearly gates, and meeting angels, apostles, Jesus, and God Himself face to face.
In Pastor Chipdale’s estimation, however, his finest achievement was AI-1517POL—POL for short—a robot programmed as an evangelist with the software GPT (Gospel Presentation Tool). Certainly not the most complex or advanced of Chipdale’s computerized creations, nevertheless POL had been wildly successful in spreading the gospel, standing on street corners to proclaim the word in all the largest cities of the nation. By conservative estimates, in one short year POL had been instrumental in some 100,000 conversions, and there was now talk of organizing stadium crusades with POL as star preacher. The one question was whether the winning little robot, known for his personable approach and warmth of character, could communicate as well to a large crowd as he obviously did one-on-one.
POL had his critics, of course. There were those who questioned whether conversions to Christ mediated by a machine could be considered valid, or even whether the very idea of a robot evangelist were morally suspect. The matter became even more complicated when POL himself professed Christianity. This happened when the robot was paired with a notorious atheist in a widely-publicized debate. While the atheist remained unconvinced, POL outdid himself in advancing such brilliant arguments that apparently his own circuits made the quantum leap into genuine faith.
But was it genuine? This was the issue now hotly discussed not only in every church but throughout the media. What was the nature of religious ‘faith’ that was entirely materially based? Could matter itself be infused with spirt? Could a robot receive the sacraments? Be welcomed into heaven? Could eternal salvation be denied to one who himself stood to have a long lineup of souls waiting to thank him (or it) for leading them to Christ? And perhaps most crucial of all, might a mere machine replace its own creator, Reverend Hiram Chipdale, at the helm of the First Church of Technology?
All such questions came to a head when POL requested baptism. Although most officials in his denomination demurred, Reverend Chipdale was only too happy to comply. When the great day came, the event was televised to millions, and many proclaimed it as an historical moment comparable to that of women gaining suffrage or being admitted to the priesthood.
Being of Baptist persuasion, POL naturally desired baptism by total immersion. Pastor Chipdale, however, prophet of futurity though he was, failed to foresee all the implications of this seemingly-innocent procedure, and as the robot was dunked beneath the waves of Venice Beach, not only were his own delicate circuits destroyed, so also were those of the officiating pastor, himself having been electrocuted.
Whereupon the great question became: Which of these two was more likely to be admitted to eternal life?
What do you think?
Or to put the question differently: Who is this story really about?
Is it you?
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